Have you ever heard the phrase "The ghost in the machine”?  

In technology, it’s used to refer to something unknown that interferes with the proper functioning of a program, sometimes also known as a glitch in the system.  

The ghost in the machine is, to me, the perfect way to explain some of the odder things we do as humans, and is a good way to explain what’s happening when experiences from our past are activating in the present moment and interfering with how we normally behave.  

Our nervous system and certain parts of our brain often have a reaction to something that is happening now based on something that happened in the past. We often experience irrational thoughts feelings and behaviours affecting ‘a now’ moment even though the now is nothing to do with, or like, the past. Without realising it, we’re constantly interpreting the present through the lens of the past and we’re moved by redundant impulses which we cannot explain to ourselves or others. 

As Sendhil...

There’s a Harvard economist, Sendhil Mullainathan, who studied something most people wouldn’t think to question… why we make decisions that don’t line up with what we say we want. Not from a motivation angle. Not from a “try harder” angle.

But from what’s actually happening to the brain under pressure. What he found was simple, and a bit confronting… when time, money, energy or mental space feel tight, the brain doesn’t rise to the occasion. It narrows. It locks onto what’s urgent. And everything else — including long-term goals — quietly drops out of view. 

When I first came across that, it stopped me in my tracks a little. Because it explains something most women feel but can’t quite put words to… why food is easy when life is calm, and suddenly feels like a different game when the day has been long, messy, or mentally draining. 

It’s not random. It’s not a lack of discipline. It’s that moment where your brain shifts into “just get me through this” mode. And once you see...

Here’s why I say there is nothing special about chocolate… or cake, lollies, soft drink, fast food or any of the other foods we feel we can’t give up.

Unfortunately for us, our brain has been marketed to from the day we were born.

Let’s just use chocolate as the example. Chocolate has been marketed to us as the be all and end all of sublime and sensual experiences. But really… is it?

It goes in your mouth, it’s there for a few seconds, and then it’s gone… leaving a kind of pasty glug on your tongue and your taste buds overwhelmed with sweetness.

And as sugar begets sugar, what ends up happening is we just keep filling our mouths with it… even though the “joy” is short lived.

I used to worship chocolate and all things sugar. But one day I started to get curious… what exactly was I worshipping?

It didn’t provide any nutritional value. There is nothing essential to life contained in the sweet things I was consuming.

And the reality was, it was robbing me of ...

I’m always on about how small adjustments are easier to implement than big change, and that small adjustments repeated every day will lead to great change in our weight over time.

But frankly, most people don’t actually believe me. They don’t believe it’s true. Sure, in theory it sounds good, but in practice, it seems unlikely.

So let’s look at it from the other side of the coin. How do we gain 5, 10, 15, 20… or more kilos?

We make small adjustments, repeat them daily, and they lead to great change we don’t want.

What kind of adjustments, I hear you ask? These kinds:
• We let our belt out one notch at a time when our waistband feels tight
• We start wearing roomier clothes when things get too tight to do up or start restricting us
• We stop getting on the scales when we don’t like the message they deliver
• When we look at ourselves in the mirror, we turn to the most flattering angle or avoid looking altogether
• We feel an uncomfortable emotion and soothe it with fo...

Ever found yourself in the kitchen with the cookie jar under your arm… and a cookie or three already gone… and wondered how you got there and why you didn’t notice?

We spend most of our life operating on autopilot, and our eating habits are no different.

The brain invented autopilot to save us time and energy. It’s super clever. It learns how to do something—which can be rather tedious—and then it bookmarks how and when to do it. From there, your brain leads your body around like a puppet, so you can think about other things.

Some of those bookmarked patterns are life skills and talents… and others are habits.

Cooking is a life skill.

Standing in the kitchen with the cookie jar under your arm and three cookies in before you notice you’re doing it… that’s a habit.

And it’s these automatic food habits we need to get a handle on if we want to lose weight without restrictive food programs.

The interesting part is… those habits don’t show up out of nowhere. They’...

Are your bathroom scales a friend or a foe?

Do you give them too much power over your happiness?

I did.

Until I realised I was asking them for the wrong information.

Instead of stepping on them to see how much weight I was losing on a diet, I should have been using them every day to see how much weight I was putting on.

The brain is a tricky thing.

It used to baffle me how I could gain 20kg without noticing.
Yes… 20kg, without noticing.

Maybe you’ve had the same experience?

I can’t tell you how many times I asked myself, “How on earth did that happen?”

Well, the answer is actually very simple.

It happens because we stop stepping on the scales when we don’t like what they tell us.

Instead of using the information constructively—taking note and making small adjustments to our food and movement that day—we ignore it. We brush it off. And when the scales keep showing an increase, we just avoid them altogether.

The most effective way to use th...

I imagine you’ve felt this too, like there’s an invisible architecture running your life? 

And it’s true, there actually is.  

It’s a system that’s been quietly built over years: thought by thought, feeling by feeling, reaction by reaction. 

What it is, is the behind-the-scenes blueprint of your habits:  

• The way your nervous system has learned to protect you.  

• The shortcuts your brain created to avoid discomfort. 

• The patterns that now play out without you even noticing — until they take the wheel. 

That’s why, even with your very best of intentions, you find yourself slipping back into the same old habits:   

• Saying yes when you’re already stretched.  

• Snapping at your partner, then feeling guilty. 

• Eating past the point of fullness, then wondering why you did it again. 

• Scrolling when you promised yourself you’d go to bed early. 

But it’s not self-sabotage. 

It’s an efficient system doing what it’s m...

The other day, I overheard someone say, “I just need to smash this next goal—and then I’ll figure out what’s next.” 

It stuck with me, because I think that’s how most people live without realizing it. I certainly did!  

Goal to goal. Hustle to hustle. 

Like jumping between stepping stones without knowing where the path is actually heading. 

And sure, it feels productive. 

You’re ticking boxes and you’re moving. 

But at some point, you look up and realize… you’re not actually getting anywhere you wanted to go. 

The Truth About Goals (That No One Tells You) 

Most of us set goals like putting pins in a map: 

✔ Lose 5 kilos. 

✔ Get the promotion. 

✔ Save for a holiday. 

But a map full of pins isn’t a plan, it’s not creating a vision. 

It’s just a collection of isolated wins that don’t necessarily add up to the life you really want. 

No wonder so many people feel restless even after they ‘achieve’ something. 

If your goals aren’t conn...

There’s this old joke you might’ve heard: 

A man is stranded on the roof of his house during a flood. He prays to God to save him. 

A boat comes by. He says no, God will save me. 

A helicopter comes by. He says no, God will save me. 

The floodwaters rise, the man drowns, and when he gets to the pearly gates, he asks, “God, why didn’t you save me?” 

God replies, “I tried. I sent you a boat and a helicopter!” 

It’s funny. But it’s also uncomfortably close to how most of us live. 

Every day, in one way or another, we quietly say to ourselves: “I’ll be happy when…” 

  🔶When I lose the weight. 

  🔶When I find the right partner. 

  🔶When I get the career break, the house, the car, the travel. 

It’s like standing on a platform, waiting for the one train that we’ve decided will take us to “happy.” 

Meanwhile, trains to happy pass by every hour on the hour. But because they don’t look like the exact destination we’ve pinned our hopes on, we let them roll r...

They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. 

Dieting is a very particular brand of insanity. 

I never thought I was doing the same thing over and over, because technically I wasn’t.  

Each time I went on a diet, it was a different plan. High protein one time, food combining the next. A personal trainer here, Pilates there. Atkins, Zone, raw food, blood type, juice cleanse… the list went on. 

But no matter the diet, the end result was always the same. 

Insanity. And me feeling like I was stuck on what I came to call the hamster wheel from hell. 

But Why? 

I’d plan, prepare, shop, and cook my “good” meals. But by the time dinner rolled around, I didn’t even want them. My cravings were pulling me somewhere else entirely. 

Still, I’d eat the “good” meal because it was what I was supposed to have if I wanted to lose weight. Then I’d go grazing through all the “allowable” foods nearby (protein ...